在国外如何礼貌地拒绝外国人的搭讪(约X)?

大家不要纠结于礼貌和外国人的问题啦,这不是问题的重点啊,抱歉是我表述的太不清楚了。我的困惑更多的是在一个人跟你聊天气聊文化之类云淡风轻的情况下如何判断他是不是约炮的,因为外国人爱跟陌生人聊天的实在太多了,在国内很少这样。单纯的聊天和想约你的情况都碰到,开头都是跟你聊天气balabala。我觉得在国外生活过很多年的人可能更了解他们的习惯,可以教导一下我这种弱智=_=
ps.我只喜欢中国男生所以并不是有些人想象中的对外国人很崇拜对自己人很傲慢,根本没有的事,所以不要误会啦。(´・_・`)


分割线———————原问题废话太多可以忽略

刚来自悉尼半年,碰到过好多次搭讪,澳洲人的确比较友好,一开始还以为他们是真心想和你做朋友或者只是友好的跟你聊聊天什么的。但有些一看就是想约*的,比如有家庭的年纪不小了的男人,时不时的还会轻微的碰你一下什么的。
听前辈说很多外国人觉得中国女生很cheap,所以后来被搭讪其实心里很不舒服。最烦人的一次是非要开车送我回家,我拒绝后竟然一路陪我走了回去,幸亏是白天不然我都想报警了。他们一般也不会明确的说出dating,只是要你喝个咖啡下次见个面啥的,我就很委婉的说我有bf了(其实并没有-_-#),结果有一次有个男的说我并没有要当你bf……然后继续要见面……还有的人非要加你社交软件然后一直跟你聊天约见面。(后来我都删了)
在国外亚洲女生很容易被人搭讪,但他们是真的出于喜欢还是觉得很easy girl就很难说了。自己一面不想理他们一面又不想让他们觉得中国人很不友好没礼貌,这个度很难把握啊,真心希望有经验的人回答。
———————补充一点自己的疑惑
自己刚来这半年不可能完全了解他们的文化和习惯,所以也就不好判断他们到底是单纯的聊天还是要跟你怎样怎样。我也遇到很多次真的只是跟你简单的问好聊天而已,所以不可能每次别人一跟你说话你就骂回去或者白眼。所以是不是他想跟你见面就基本99%是约X的了,然后就可以fu*k off了^_−(还有啊我并不是觉得对外国人搭讪就得有礼貌对自己人就可以没礼貌,在哪都得讲礼貌哇。我是觉得在无法判断对方意图的情况下礼貌总是没错的)
已邀请:

小庄PetitFancy

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简单来说就是:
一句话都不说

你确定他是想来一发,而你又没有好感的话。
只要他提到比较过分的事情,不要做出任何反应
因为不管你做什么,他们都会很兴奋。。。。

对他们来说,这就是个challenge

··························

至于easy girl,cheap,这个不至于
(可能中国女孩没有身经百战,所以对他们还有点好奇,唉,天真啊)

因为这种人在欧美很多,很多男生随机搭讪,只要成功一次,今天的乐子就有了。
我表妹在伦敦,被搭讪后,那男生居然跟着走了五个街道。(我真没有黑英国)

Spitfire

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为什么不用合法渠道来保护自己呢?
------------------------------------------------------关于礼貌问题的更新线--------------------------------------------
国人一般都习惯了熟人社会,会特别在意言语之外对形象带来的不利影响,这点东瀛更甚。这并不奇怪,而只是属于文化差异的问题。不过既然来了澳洲,就还是尽可能的像小庄那样适应调整下自己的思维方式吧。澳洲人是出了名的直爽,说极端点就是有点粗鲁。不信,可以找海对面的新西兰人(kiwi)们去问问。而且是越郊区rural越明显,譬如昆州人(queenslander)就是非常典型的例子。大悉村算是非常国际化,相对会尊重各国风俗习惯了。但推荐小留们说话尽可能的不要太温吞了。直接上来F word当然是不可取的方式,除非要应对某些素质不佳的底层人士(bogan)。但是意思不表明清楚的话,本地人(local)和你交流同样也会很苦恼的。毕竟,人际交流是双向的,这里也不是大腐国。也默默的黑了下

PS:顺便尽自己可能的说句:华人/留学生们还是尽可能别用“鬼佬”这个具有侮辱性的词汇了,虽然你也许是无意,但毕竟这个词汇的含义略懂中文的都能听出来不友好。友善从个人做起吧!
--------------------------------------------------------原答案----------------------------------------------------------------
头次实名反对@小庄PetitFancy 的说法。土澳法制健全,规则清晰,留学生们为什么不用呢?觉得自己被骚扰了就应该大胆的使用正规法律渠道来解决问题。
沉默或者不明确的言语反对反而是默认甚至纵容对方不当行为的不正确回应方式。
在悉尼,可以联系新南威尔士州(NSW)的法律援助(lawstuff),以及学校或者其他机构的法律援助渠道
Lawstuff Australia
What can I do if I have been sexually harassed?

You have lots of options. You can do the following:

1. Tell them to stop: if it is possible, tell the offender verbally or in writing that their behaviour is offensive and unacceptable and that you want it to stop immediately. If this isn’t possible, you should discuss it with a person who is in charge, such as your work supervisor or teacher.

2. Keep a written record: you should keep a written record of everything that has happened, when it happened and the names of any people who saw what happened. You can keep notes in your phone if you want.

3. Get some support: if someone has sexually or indecently assaulted you, you can call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)to talk about your situation. They can help you with things like reporting to the police. You can also call your local police station to report what happened. For more information on sexual assault and who you can talk to, please visit our Lawstuff page on Sexual Assault.

4. Make a complaint to your employer or school: depending on where the harassment occurs there may be guidelines or a policy which you need to follow to report what has happened and make a complaint. For example:

  • Workplace - most workplaces will have a sexual harassment policy which will explains how to make a complaint.

  • School – the NSW Department of Education has a policy for sexual harassment which applies to all public schools. Private schools may also have their own policy or complaints procedures for sexual harassment which can be accessed by students.

5. Make a complaint to the Government: If you can’t resolve the issue with your employer or school, or it didn’t happen there, you can make a complaint to the Australian Human Rights Commission (AHRC) (run by the Federal Government) or to the NSW Anti-Discrimination Board which is run by the state government.

You should get legal advice about which organisation to make your complaint to, because the federal law is slightly different to the state law. It is free to make a complaint at both places. You generally must make the complaint no more than 12 months after the harassment happened.

You can find out more about this by contacting the Commissions using the contact details listed below. You can also contact LawAccess NSW on 1300 888 529

If you complain to the NSW Anti-Discrimination Board or the Australian Human Rights Commission and it does not resolve the complaint, you may have the option to go to a formal court or tribunal hearing.

You may feel scared about making a complaint, but it is important to know that it is against the law for someone to treat you unfairly or harm you because you made a complaint against them. If that happens, they can be fined or imprisoned.

6. Tell someone

Sexual harassment is unacceptable and you should speak to your parents or another adult that you trust. If you do not speak to someone, or report what happened, then no one will know what is going on and they can’t help you. We have provided you with a list of important contacts to call at the end of this fact sheet if you would like to talk to someone confidentially.

@Jormundandr 昆士兰州QLD的:
Lawstuff Australia
What do I do if I am sexually harassed?

You have lots of options. You can do the following:

1. Tell them to stop: if it is possible, tell the offender verbally or in writing that their behaviour is offensive and unacceptable and that you want it to stop immediately. If this isn’t possible, you should discuss it with a person who is in charge, such as your work supervisor or teacher.

2. Keep a written record: you should keep a written record of everything that has happened, when it happened and the names of any people who saw what happened. You can keep notes in your phone if you want.

3. Get some support: if someone has sexually harassed you or sexually or indecently assaulted you, you can call 1800 RESPECT to talk about your situation.

If the behavior involves touching you in a sexual or indecent way, it’s a crime. You can also call your local police station to report what happened. For more information on sexual assault and who you can talk to, please visit our Lawstuff page on Sexual Assault.

4. Make a complaint to your employer or school: depending on where the harassment occurs there may be guidelines or a policy which you need to follow to report what has happened and make a complaint. For example:

a. Workplace - most workplaces will have a sexual harassment policy which will outline the complaint procedure.

b. School – the Qld Department of Education Training and Employment has a policy for sexual harassment which applies to all state schools. Schools may also have their own policy on complaints procedures for sexual harassment which can be accessed by students.

5. Make a complaint to the Government: If the issue is still not resolved or didn’t occur at school or work, you have the right to make a complaint to the Australian Human Rights Commission which is run by the Commonwealth government or to the QLD Anti-Discrimination Commission which is run by the state government.

You should get legal advice about which organisation to make your complaint to, because the federal law is slightly different to the state law. It is free to make a complaint. You generally must make the complaint no more than 12 months after the harassment happened.

If you complain and the matter is not resolved, you may have the option to go to a tribunal or court hearing.

You can find out more about this by contacting the Commissions using the contact details listed below.

You may feel scared about making a complaint, but it is important to know that it is against the law for someone to treat you unfairly or harm you because you made a complaint against them. If that happens, they can be fined or imprisoned.

或者直接找联邦层级的人权部门:
Sexual harassment
Making a complaint

If you feel you have been sexually harassed, you can make a complaint to the Australian Human Rights Commission. Complaints must be made in writing or by email. This can be done by downloading a complaints form or completing the online complaint form.

There is no cost involved in making a complaint. Complaints can be made in any language, in Braille, or verbally on a video or audio tape. The Commission can also help you write out your complaint if you require assistance.

The Complaints section of the Commission’s website has more information about the complaints process. Alternatively, for further information, or to discuss a complaint with a Complaints Information Officer, call 1300 656 419 or [email protected].


留学生出门在外,要知道保护自己,不应该当隐身人

Eric D

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It's not funny
这句话看似轻,实则重。连我家娃听到,也会瞬间乖很多

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